Reject The Diet Mentality

This month we will take a slightly different approach to our continuing discussion on how to become an intuitive eater. First, I want to share a brief overview on the next two principles—Discover the Satisfaction Factor and Cope with Your Emotions without Using Food—and then I would like to share with you just a bit of my own personal journey from disordered eating to wholeness.So, without further ado…let’s jump right in!

Principles Six and Seven: Discover the Satisfaction Factor and Cope with Your Emotions without Using Food

Most chronic dieters have lost, or never have discovered, the simple pleasure of eating. In the quest to be thin, we equate the pleasure of eating with outof- control weight gain. And it simply isn’t so. The truth of the matter is just the opposite. If you fail at finding satisfaction in your food choices, the chances are much greater that you will overeat.

The authors of the original Intuitive Eating—Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch— share a story about one client who craved a piece of cornbread with lunch.
However, she denied herself this pleasure, not only at lunch but at dinner also, for she was convinced that it was an unhealthy choice. That night, she ate six Weight Watchers® desserts in hopes of satisfying her cornbread craving. And with an overly full belly of excessive calories, she learned the principle of satisfaction: no amount of diet desserts would satisfy her cornbread craving.

Regaining pleasure in eating will require some intentional steps, such as determining what you really want to eat, and then giving yourself permission to eat it; learning to be present to the here and now rather than focusing on rules, regulations, and calorie counters; and beginning to taste and savor the food you are eating. Understanding what you like and believing that you have the right to enjoy food will be crucial to living a satisfied life of weight control without dieting.

The essence of our next principle is summed up by Tribole and Resch in the following way: “Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, and anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Food won’t fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won’t solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emoTional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run”.

Learning to cope with emotional eating without using food begins with asking yourself four basic questions: Am I biologically hungry? What am I feeling?What do I need? How can I get this need met other than through food? If the answer to the first question is yes, then review the previous six principles and eat intuitively. If the answer is no, then proceed with the remaining three questions, especially focusing on the last. Getting rest, expressing your feelings through talking or journaling, and receiving comfort and warmth from a trusted friend are some ways that you can get your emotional needs met apart from food. However, I would like to share with you just a glimpse of my path out of the pit of emotional and disordered eating.

A Little About My Journey

For about 15 years or so, I fought a monster within me named Bulimia. While the behaviors of the disorder manifested during my senior year in high school, food and weight were becoming my focus as young as age 8. I can remember times of feeling so anxious I thought I would come out of my skin…lonely, afraid, and insecure. Because I was unaware of how to handle these emotions— or even what the emotions were—I began focusing on weight, what I looked like, how I could avoid eating, and how I could rid my body of the food I did eat.

I was caught in a vicious and ugly cycle that would include two inpatient treatments, several trips to the hospital, and a whole lot of shame, secrecy, and isolation. The satisfaction I was looking for in life was elusive. My emotions were too uncomfortable to face. I was a lost soul, empty and afraid of who I was and…of who I wasn’t.

Many people have asked about my recovery. And while there were various points of healing along the way, the one thing that nailed the lid on the coffin in which my monster was finally buried was a renewed relationship with God.
It wasn’t until I realized that I was trying desperately to be in control of my life (and failing miserably) and chose to surrender my control to a very loving and gracious God that I finally began to walk in freedom from the pain. The road was not easy, and I certainly stumbled along the way. But as I began to Learn who God really is (through the Bible) and as I began to know Him, my feeble legs grew stronger as I walked the path to healing. Then the words of Psalm 145 became alive for me, as they can for you too.

“The LORD is trustworthy in all He promises and faithful in all He does.

The LORD upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.

The eyes of all look to You (LORD), and You give them their food at the proper time.

You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.”

Advertisements

The Battle Of Addiction

Consider these statistics: About 2.7 million American women abuse alcohol or drugs. Twenty-eight percent of adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction are women. And, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling, almost half of those seeking help for a gambling addiction are female.

It is no secret that addiction of many varieties runs rampant in our society. And while there are just as many varied reasons as to why someone may stay in the grips of addiction, I believe crossing the line into the recovery process begins with one simple question which must be answered by anyone who is seeking freedom: do you want to get well?

A picture of this reality is illustrated in the biblical account of a paralyzed man, whose story is found in the New Testament book of John, chapter 5. The reader witnesses Jesus conversing with this man who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. He had apparently been lying all those years by a pool which was said to have healing properties. Yet, this man had never experienced the freedom that this pool of water afforded him.

While paralysis and addiction are two completely separate issues, I believe there is a very powerful principle embedded in the short dialogue that took place between Jesus and the man. In a simple and straightforward manner, Jesus looked at the man and asked: “Do you want to get well?” The man’s reply is full of excuses: “Sir, I have no one to help me, and when I go down, someone gets in my way.” As I read this, I can’t help but wonder: Could it be that the man had adopted the identity of being paralyzed? Or perhaps even the identity of being a victim? In order to be healed, the man had to want to change before anything could change. And so it is with the addict.

With the disease of addiction–whether it is to food, alcohol, money, sex, relationship–there is a tendency for the addict to be split, or double-minded. On one hand, she desires to be free, yet on the other she desires to remain in addiction. Because although destructive, the addictive behavior has been her only way to cope, to survive, to get her deep soul needs met. Yes, the addict will often say that she wants to get well, if only God will take away the addiction quickly and easily. However, in reality, she doesn’t quite want to fully surrender her secret struggles and trust that life on the other side is indeed better.

Recovery from addiction, while not easy, is also not complicated.

Personal experience taught me that recovery–in my case, from alcoholism and bulimia–is a hard-work miracle experienced one day at a time. Yet the journey begins with only one word. Do you want to get well? YES!

Crazy Documentary that I watched on Television

I have been watching the documentary about Russian Serial Killer Alexander Pichushkin though I think the guy is cute as a button  but, the thing about it is the murders were horrific due to the fact that he killed all those innocent people and to make sure they died was to shove a vodka bottle into those wounds.  I actually felt it happening to me O.o!

The interesting thing was his background he had been bullied as a adolescent which cause him to bottle his emotions but, the most interesting things was the fact his grandfather taught him how to play chess and discovered his beloved grandson had intelligence that was not being shown to its potential.  The snapping of Alexander Pichushkin was the death of his grandfather thus he had to return home to his mother which some theorize that he started that killing spree in Moscow Russia that scared citizens to death.

Thought I do have some Empathy for the man because I have been bullied but, I do not think murder was the solution to get rid of my years of frustration there were other methods but, he does not see it the way I do so that is why he is in prison for the rest of his life and I am out here trying to make a difference in my life and others because there is a life after bullying, you just need to get pass the rain.  Pichushkin got pass the bullying but, he never made it through the rain.

There must be something in the Water.

Okay let me tell you the reason for this post title, I am finding it harder and harder to like people or even to trust people because of the way they are acting today.  Furthermore it looks like my dreams of ever having a family of my own has bit the dust because after these last two articles, I am better off alone and unmarried than to be with a person that is mentally insane or with low morals.

Remember the Shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary? Well the man that took in those children is being harassed by people claiming that he staged the shooting in order to make himself a hero.  This sweet, kind, and thoughtful old man protected this children when their teacher was killed by Lanza yet, you have people calling him and emailing him these horrific accusations that he was a part of this incident.

There are only two people to blame on that day one was Lanza himself and the other one was his mother because she was the one that took him out shooting and left him in a basement to do nothing but play violent video games.  So are you trying to state that this retire 69-year-old Psychologist was going to have a mentally insane person whom he probably never met in his life go out and kill innocent people?  I think Lanza should have came to him for mental evaluation.  However, its true that Mr. Rosen heard the shooting on that day but, who is to say that someone else did not call the police before he did.  That is the one thing a lot of people are saying, why didn’t he call the police.  Will to those who think he’s a part of it let me tell you something, you did not know what happen on that day so, who are you to say what was going through that man’s mind when a shooting took place? Have you, yourself been in that situation?  If so then okay but, if not keep that trap of yours shut because the man is a hero and 10 thousand people believe it so, get a life you idiot cowards.

Now for an elementary school two states away in Pennsylvania, what was that school thinking?  They allowed a complete stranger to take a little girl outside of class to only leave her under a park bleacher and her own mother did not know where she is but, they stated that a person claiming to be the child’s mother came to pick her up that morning.   You have to be kidding me on this one for aren’t there any uniform procedure to make sure that a person claims to be who they really are?  Couldn’t the school went and ask for some ID when it came to picking up the child?   That school has a lot of explaining to do and since the little girl has been found, they need to find the woman that blind folded her and made her go under the bleacher.  Poor child is at the children’s hospital right now to recover from hypothermia, this is an outrage to me and many other people whom do or do not have children.

We need more procedures to protect our children from these crazy people if we don’t then what is the purpose of keeping population in the United States?  First we need to reform the safety administration within the schools of all levels and we need to change the policy of gun control.   Secondly we need to have people evaluated more to determine if they are fit to carry a weapon of any kind when it comes to the safety of society.

School safety should be a priority for every state within the United States and within the communities surrounding the schools.

 

What does the future lie for me?

I go on Yahoo and Google every day to see what articles the staff writes for their users to read and in the category of Friends, Family, and other relationship they come out with all these different types of articles that make me wonder where is my future on the concept of ever finding my forever spouse?

Today seems that its okay to have premarital sex, to be low in morals, and treat women like dogs.  In addition it does not seem people can respect a woman’s decision of abstaining from premarital sex and getting to know the person as an individual.   The older I get the harder it is for someone such as myself to get married because the higher of standards I will have for, I am going to school to pursue a career in law or Economics which ever one offers me a position first.   In addition I plan to have a Masters in another field as a fall back whether it is Art History, Cultural Anthropology, Romance Studies, East Asian Studies, English, or Women’s History.

The opportunities for me will be endless but, will there be a man alive to live up to my standards?  Will he be morally upright? Will he be spiritual minded? Will he love me like he loves his own body?  Can he mentally carry the roles place in front of him as his role as a husband?  Those are the questions that I ask quite often but, it seems that I get the Fond de l’ Etang type of men which desire a woman that is unattainable.

I cannot recall how many times men have asked me if I am a virgin or not.  Why? Do you wish to be the first one to have me lose my virginity to and my self respect?  I have too much respect for myself in order to do such a thing and, I view people whom are heterosexual to engage in premarital sexual intercourse to be Fond de l’Etang group of people.   In addition what would my family would think of me if I was to engage in something like that?  I come from a family with a very conservative christian belief and background because I am to be different from the rest of the world.   In many ways I am for example I have a wide range of interests that people in my age or even gender bracket lack.

For example

58236_474711162565738_1578811778_n 603302_464240613625358_1886543679_n

I found this unique Chinaware to be awesome yet, there are very few people my age in the south of the United States that seem to appreciate its fine beauty because they call stuff like this to be prissy.   Hmmm I wonder what is so prissy about it.   Its just a form of artwork that came from a human mind so, what is so prissy about it except the fact its bone china.   However, when I get paid this will be on my list of things I am going to by for I will get every color that this comes in and place in my ever growing collection of china that was a dream back in my youth.  Only thing is my china collection is lacking pink because I always said that I would have a collection of china that was nothing but pink and, looking back now the china collection is there but there isn’t any pink.

Another thing that I have a great amount of interest in is the creativity of plants because there are so many ways to create things by using mother nature.  I have yet found a man that shares or even respects this matter of artistic appreciation.

486419_120997708044536_97541900_n 549618_323222047770978_1719026566_n 552250_390123551048068_2063001032_n 550370_461054067277346_163808531_n 543189_465515266831226_890885238_n

The pictures that I have with a range of plants that were made into creative pieces of living artwork are endless but, the appreciation value in my fellow peers is zero.

When it comes to the art of cake decorating the interest in the field of art arise again because I find it so interesting of how people can make cakes to like like different things.   Lately, the only other person that shares the same interest is my mother but, I did come from her and this is what she raise me to like and to do if I ever gotten the chance to do so.

530451_481410391911171_245114287_n 299628_545617675450221_1416881883_n 155842_481410471911163_884561810_n

These three are my favorite forms of cake decoration at the moment because I do know there will be more to come and the endless possibilities are still out there.  Could you imagine what it would be like to have a cake such as these at a formal or informal event?

64576_467232023326217_27316669_n

This is not a cake but, I also find the work of fruit and vegetables to be a great subject of interest as well for, I know a lot of time was taken in order to make this creative piece of artwork.

734726_467074833341936_1020435892_n

My creative interest are forever rising and forget about when it comes to hand work.   I am all over knitting, Crocheting, Kumihimo, Latch-hook, Needlepoint, Quilting, Embroidery, and much much more.    If I was to have a house the inside would be a hot mess because of the things I am able to make.

So I am pretty sure that I will never see that day come when I am married but, on the good side of it I have a promising career outlook for the next 40 to 5o years. 🙂

How shyness affects your life.

“The shy person misses out on friendships and opportunities” – Author unknown

What is shyness?

Shyness is the feeling of being uneasy around people-mostly strangers, those in authority, persons of the opposite sex, or even your peers.

How Shyness affects you life.

By withdrawing, not speaking up, or being so preoccupied with self that you don’t pay attention to others, you may leave the impression that you are stuck-up, unfriendly, bored, or even uncaring or ignorant.   Only do that to those that you do not like and do not want to associate yourself with.  When your thoughts are on yourself, it is hard to concentrate on the discussion at hand so, you pay less attention to the information you are receiving  then what you fear most happens-you appear foolish.

You basically locked yourself in the prison of shyness and have thrown away the key; therefore, you have let opportunities pass you by and you accept items and situations that you really do not want-all because you are afraid to speak up and express your opinion.  By doing that you lose out on the joys of meeting new people, making new friends and doing things that can enhance your life. Others lose out too so they never get to know the real you.

“The shy person imagines that others think little of him”-Author unknown

Overcoming Shyness

This takes time and effort so behavior can be changed, first of all, stop worrying about whether the other person is evaluating you.   If a person childishly poke fun at you, understand that he has the problem.   “He belittles his neighbor lacks sense.”  Those whom are worth making friends will not judge you by your outward appearance but, will judge you for the person that you are.

You can overcome shyness by

  • Wanting to change and believing that change is really possible
  • Replacing negative thoughts with positive action
  • Setting realistic and meaningful goals for yourself
  • Knowing how to relax and cope with anxiety
  • Rehearsing a situation beforehand
  • Gaining confidence by progressively successful experience
  • Remembering that differences of opinion exist and that others err too
  • Practicing to increase skills and learn new ones
  • Reaching out to show love and to help others
  • Dressing tastefully and acting with confidence
  • Relying on the help that God gives
  • Being involved with christian meetings and in sharing your faith with others

Making a start

Learn to be more social such as saying hello in shape fashion or form because there is 7,000 ways to say hello to a person (really there are 7,000 ways to say hello) and start up a conversation.  Remember when you are having a conversation you are responsible for the 50% of the communication; saying ” that didn’t come out right ” will help you to relax and continue with the conversation.

Just be you and make sure that you wear clothes that are comfortable plus clean and pressed.  Do not stress so much when trying to speak to a person, just speak to them as you known them for years.  The more you practice and the more you do it the more sociable you will become.

 

 

Why Friendships End

Why friendships end can be a perplexing problem for many people. The only understandable reason for a friendship to end perhaps is death. But lots of us loose friends and often are unsure of how, what we thought were solid relationships, somehow dissolved almost into thin air. Considering some of the reasons why friendships end can help us to move on with less trauma and in some cases perhaps find ways to avoid the loss of a good friend through understanding.

Changes in geography can often do a number on even the most sturdy of friendships. The separation caused by living at a distance from one another makes it more difficult to stay close. Sure you can e -mail, call, write or skype but its just not the same. You can’t go shopping or to a ball game or hang out at your local hot spot when you are separated by miles. If you want to do all the recreational things you used to do, you will necessarily do them with someone else. In such situations the friendship doesn’t have to end. You can make a conscious decision to stay in touch, to visit, to be there for one another. Most of all you don’t have to endure the pain of wondering what you did wrong that ended your friendship. No one is at fault here.

Some friendships however dissolve over time when substantive issues begin to become more important than the relationship itself. Differences that meant less when you were different can suddenly take on a much more important place in your life. Religious and political issues can lead to the kinds of heated discussions that make one or both friend begin to question how long they really want the friendship to continue. When sharing time together always ends up in an emotional or sarcastic outburst your friendship may be on its way out.

Not all friends work at the same jobs. There are plenty of solid friendships between white collar and blue collar workers. Still differences in lifestyles and life goals can cause disturbances among good friends. You get excited and dejected about very different things. You find it difficult to be supportive of your friend because you disagree so vehemently with his or her life choices. Eventually one or both of you will begin to find that it is more relaxing to be in the presence of people with whom you have more in common.

Maturity plays a part in every relationship. When we are younger we can be friends with the class clown and if we happen to be that clown we may be quite willing to be buddies with the class genius. As we get older in years the level of our social maturity can play a role in the demise of some friendships. Depending on where we are the social maturity spectrum we may find our friends seem progressively more ridiculous or overly serious. We may even start to feel embarrassed when we are with them. So the occasions for being together start to decline and so does the friendship.

Most difficult of all perhaps are the times when friendships are ended because there is an unequal effort being made by both members of the relationship. One friend is continually the one who calls, who makes plans, who drives, who pays. The other seems to be along for the ride. This kind of one sided friendship may exist for as long as the giving friend puts up with it but in some instances there is eventually the fatal straw that breaks the camels back and the friendship

Examining your own relationships from time to time can help you to keep them healthy and secure especially if you are willing to work at keeping a friendship solid. The bottom line in fact is the biggest reason why friendships end is because, for whatever reason, one or both of the friends have decided to stop working at the relationship. Friendships can survive, grow, mature and endure. It’s up to the friends to make that happen.

What to the ethics of dating?

After reading articles on dating and what people views are in the world of love and happiness how can people take marriage seriously?  The questions that younger generations are asking go beyond the boundary lines of personal questions that go to far.

The recent article I have read is that men and women are asking a person’s credit score, what difference does a person’s credit score make?  In addition why does it matter if a girl is a virgin or not? Why do so many want to have one date then have sexual intercourse?

What happened to abstaining from sexual intercourse to date a person to know them as an individual and they in turn can learn you as an individual?  What can sexual intercourse do to make you learn a person well enough to marry them?  Don’t people stop to think that if you have sexual intercourse that your relationship will not last that long because then the other person loses trust in them the morning after they had sex?  I find having sexual intercourse before marriage means that you cannot be mature enough to marry nor loyal to having one spouse so, you are more than likely to have more than one sex partner.   In addition there is a hefty price of promiscuity, promiscuity from its root word promiscuous is clearly a bad thing. It means immoral, loose, licentious and wanton. This is not all, it is also necessary to factor the cost of promiscuity such as:
• Sorrow,
• Pain,
• Anguish,
• Disease,
• Unwanted pregnancy and
• The sense of guilt
• Damage to sense of self-worth
• Disruption of one’s progress in life, to mention but a few.

We need to factor these costs also. All considered, abstinence is the way of the wise and premarital and extra-marital sex is the way of the foolish. It is like water and beer. Water is the drink of the wise while beer is the drink of the foolish, even as it is popular. Sexual promiscuity may be popular or common place, but it is still foolish indulgence and can never be elevated beyond that regardless of the wording and grammar used to postulate it.

If we all elect to abstain from premarital sex, there would be enough quality marriages to ensure that nobody have to stay many years in need of unfulfilled sexual urges. It is because of easy sexual intercourse from people of easy virtue, prostitutes and loose morals that is hindering marriages.

Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman is ordained of God in legal and lawful marriage relationship.

Part of our responsibility on this earth is to learn to master our appetites and control our urges to enable us be turned into the godhood that is possible for all of us. Sexual and other sensations are serving purposes of testing our ability to grow. The fact that people get tired of having sex with their sex-partners is a pointer that it is not meant to be frittered away as part of fun getting. Sexual intercourse has a big place in the scheme of creation. Used within that bound, it is a beautiful experience even when you are not able to get the wow or blow-job of it. No sexual intercourse can compare to sexual intercourse in purity – within bounds of legal and lawful marriage or what Church people would call holy wedlock.

Regardless of what is said here, each individual know the price they pay. People should count their costs on this subject also so that adults do not stand by and watch a goat give birth with rope around its neck.

Many people have been able to survive the setback caused by premarital sex in their lives and still made good and sometimes great strides and thrived. One thousand times that number is not able to survive it. That choice to get involved in premarital sex changed the course of their lives for bad and they could not escape the price tag.

We have the power to choose what we would. But we do not have power to choose the consequences of our actions. This is called agency or freedom to choose. Our world is created by choice. We are in it by choice and each individual’s choices would shape their character and ultimately their destiny.

However, there is so many loose people in the world that finding one that does not have sex before marriage is very rare.   I do not see why people cannot suppress their sexual desires in order to make a strong foundation to a relationship that can lead to years of happiness.
First of all what is the sole purpose of dating?
dating

dating

Among all people whom are placed upon this earth, dating has an honorable purpose—to help a young man and woman determine if they want to get married to each other. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you need to make wedding plans the moment you start dating. In fact, many people do not end up marrying the first person they date. At the same time, a person shouldn’t date if he or she isn’t ready to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage.  So if you have the intention of being married then you need to abstain from sexual intercourse during the time period of dating but, if you are having sex with the person then why get married?

If the one you are dating is pressuring you to have sex or sexual intercourse then you are better off without them in your life.   Says James 3:17: “The wisdom from above is first of all chaste.”  So if they do not respect you enough to not have sex then move on to someone else.
In addition one needs to ask themselves is this person right for me?  What are the qualities that you are looking for in a potential mate?  Does the person need to be spiritual-minded, Friendly, Trustworthy, Morally Upright and Goal oriented?  There is nothing wrong with the traits that are mention but, when you are more mature the traits should determine if the person is right for you.
dating2

Know Yourself First

Before you can consider who might be right for you, you need to know yourself well. To learn more about yourself, answer the following questions:

What are my strengths? ․․․․․

What are my weaknesses or vulnerabilities? ․․․․․

What emotional and spiritual needs do I have? ․․․․․

Getting to know yourself is no small task, but questions like those above can get you started. The more you understand yourself, the better equipped you will be to find someone who will amplify your strengths rather than your weaknesses. What if you think you’ve found that person?

Will Just Anyone Do?

“Can I get to know you better?” That question will make you either cringe or leap for joy—depending on who’s asking. Suppose you answer yes. Over the course of time, how can you tell if your boyfriend or girlfriend is right for you?

Suppose you want to buy a new pair of shoes. You go to the store and find a pair that catches your eye. You try on the shoes, only to find that—much to your disappointment—they’re too tight. What would you do? Buy the shoes anyway? Or look for a different pair? Clearly, the better choice is to put the shoes back and look for others. It would make little sense to walk around in a pair of shoes that just didn’t fit!

It’s similar with choosing a marriage partner. Over time, more than a few members of the opposite sex may catch your eye. But not just anyone will do. After all, you want someone you’ll be comfortable with—someone who truly fits your personality and your goals.

Looking Beyond the Surface

To answer that last question, look at your friend objectively. Be careful, though! You might be inclined to see only what you want to see. So take your time. Try to perceive your friend’s true nature. This will take effort on your part. But that’s only to be expected. To illustrate: Imagine that you want to purchase a car. How thoroughly would you research it? Would you be concerned only about the outer appearance? Wouldn’t it make sense to look deeper—perhaps learning as much as you could about the condition of the engine?

Finding a mate is a much weightier issue than choosing a car. Yet, many who date don’t look beyond the surface. Instead, they quickly point to the things they have in common: ‘We like the same music.’ ‘We enjoy the same activities.’ ‘We agree on everything!’ As mentioned earlier, though, if you’re truly past the bloom of youth, you look beyond superficial traits. You see the need to discern “the secret person of the heart.”

For example, rather than focus on how much you agree on things, it might be more revealing to note what happens when you disagree. In other words, how does this person handle conflict—by insisting on his or her way, perhaps giving in to “fits of anger” or “abusive speech”? Or does this person show reasonableness—a willingness to yield for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?

Another factor to consider: Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous? Does he or she demand to know your every move? “I hear of dating couples who fight because one person can’t stand that the other hasn’t constantly ‘checked in,’” says Nicole. “I think that’s a bad sign.”—1 Corinthians 13:4.

Issues such as those raised above focus on personality and conduct. However, it’s just as important to learn something of your friend’s reputation. How is that one viewed by others? You may want to talk to those who have known this person for some time, such as mature ones in the congregation. That way you will know if he or she is “well reported on.”—Acts 16:1, 2.

to be continued……