The Battle Of Addiction

Consider these statistics: About 2.7 million American women abuse alcohol or drugs. Twenty-eight percent of adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction are women. And, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling, almost half of those seeking help for a gambling addiction are female.

It is no secret that addiction of many varieties runs rampant in our society. And while there are just as many varied reasons as to why someone may stay in the grips of addiction, I believe crossing the line into the recovery process begins with one simple question which must be answered by anyone who is seeking freedom: do you want to get well?

A picture of this reality is illustrated in the biblical account of a paralyzed man, whose story is found in the New Testament book of John, chapter 5. The reader witnesses Jesus conversing with this man who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. He had apparently been lying all those years by a pool which was said to have healing properties. Yet, this man had never experienced the freedom that this pool of water afforded him.

While paralysis and addiction are two completely separate issues, I believe there is a very powerful principle embedded in the short dialogue that took place between Jesus and the man. In a simple and straightforward manner, Jesus looked at the man and asked: “Do you want to get well?” The man’s reply is full of excuses: “Sir, I have no one to help me, and when I go down, someone gets in my way.” As I read this, I can’t help but wonder: Could it be that the man had adopted the identity of being paralyzed? Or perhaps even the identity of being a victim? In order to be healed, the man had to want to change before anything could change. And so it is with the addict.

With the disease of addiction–whether it is to food, alcohol, money, sex, relationship–there is a tendency for the addict to be split, or double-minded. On one hand, she desires to be free, yet on the other she desires to remain in addiction. Because although destructive, the addictive behavior has been her only way to cope, to survive, to get her deep soul needs met. Yes, the addict will often say that she wants to get well, if only God will take away the addiction quickly and easily. However, in reality, she doesn’t quite want to fully surrender her secret struggles and trust that life on the other side is indeed better.

Recovery from addiction, while not easy, is also not complicated.

Personal experience taught me that recovery–in my case, from alcoholism and bulimia–is a hard-work miracle experienced one day at a time. Yet the journey begins with only one word. Do you want to get well? YES!

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Crazy Documentary that I watched on Television

I have been watching the documentary about Russian Serial Killer Alexander Pichushkin though I think the guy is cute as a button  but, the thing about it is the murders were horrific due to the fact that he killed all those innocent people and to make sure they died was to shove a vodka bottle into those wounds.  I actually felt it happening to me O.o!

The interesting thing was his background he had been bullied as a adolescent which cause him to bottle his emotions but, the most interesting things was the fact his grandfather taught him how to play chess and discovered his beloved grandson had intelligence that was not being shown to its potential.  The snapping of Alexander Pichushkin was the death of his grandfather thus he had to return home to his mother which some theorize that he started that killing spree in Moscow Russia that scared citizens to death.

Thought I do have some Empathy for the man because I have been bullied but, I do not think murder was the solution to get rid of my years of frustration there were other methods but, he does not see it the way I do so that is why he is in prison for the rest of his life and I am out here trying to make a difference in my life and others because there is a life after bullying, you just need to get pass the rain.  Pichushkin got pass the bullying but, he never made it through the rain.

Got Paid!!!!

$160.00 not going to spend it for the next three months because I finished the three day that I was assigned which consisted of Data entry not, the other three day job that I will be a receptionist but, seriously who tells you three days then it comes out to be two or I must have done all the work in two days :/.   Now comes the three month assignment for 3 months making $15.00 an hour!  I can hardly wait to see what I can do with that money when I get it all because it’s getting really hard to budget $1,075.00 a month just on a menial degree but,  its for the good of society because who else is going to help my fellow human kind.   Helping the elderly and other for a 24 hour week job means more to me than a job making a large amount of money on and ripping off people.

Each day I live I want it to be a day that I give but, my finest day has yet to come.   there are times that I still feel alone when trying to make a difference in the lives of others and working in non-profit as a nursing assistant is the stepping stone to my dream goal of helping men, women, children, the elderly, and animals that cannot defend themselves.   Then I will be free!

Monday has Arrived.

Yes Monday the day that everyone has to go back to work, school or whatever it is that they do.  Well today is a very special day in my African-American/Black American subculture for, today we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. one of the leaders of the civil rights movements in the south which led to the end of segregation.

“Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!”

With these words, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. built a crescendo to his final speech on April 3, 1968. The next day, the civil rights leader was shot and killed on a balcony of the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tenn.

At the roots Dr. King’s civil rights convictions was an even more profound faith in the basic goodness of man and the great potential of American democracy. These beliefs gave to his speeches a fervor that could not be stilled by criticism.

He rose in 1955 from a newly arrived minister in Montgomery, Ala. to a figure of national prominence. It was Dr. King who dramatized the Montgomery bus boycott with his decision to make it the testing ground, before the eyes of the nation, of his belief in the civil disobedience teachings of Thoreau and Gandhi.

In the summer of 1963, Dr. King led the March on Washington, stirring the emotions of millions with the words “I have a dream.” On Dec. 10, 1964, he won the Nobel Peace Prize.

His strong beliefs in civil rights and non-violence made him one of the leading opponents to American participation in the war in Vietnam.

At the time he was assassinated in Memphis, Dr. King was involved in one of his greatest plans to dramatize the plight of the poor and stir Congress to help blacks. He called his venture the “Poor People’s Campaign.” — Adapted from the New York Times’ obituary. April 5, 1968.

It is a shame that he had to die they way he did but, his work along with many others lead to us having privileges that was frowned upon for many years due to oppression.

There must be something in the Water.

Okay let me tell you the reason for this post title, I am finding it harder and harder to like people or even to trust people because of the way they are acting today.  Furthermore it looks like my dreams of ever having a family of my own has bit the dust because after these last two articles, I am better off alone and unmarried than to be with a person that is mentally insane or with low morals.

Remember the Shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary? Well the man that took in those children is being harassed by people claiming that he staged the shooting in order to make himself a hero.  This sweet, kind, and thoughtful old man protected this children when their teacher was killed by Lanza yet, you have people calling him and emailing him these horrific accusations that he was a part of this incident.

There are only two people to blame on that day one was Lanza himself and the other one was his mother because she was the one that took him out shooting and left him in a basement to do nothing but play violent video games.  So are you trying to state that this retire 69-year-old Psychologist was going to have a mentally insane person whom he probably never met in his life go out and kill innocent people?  I think Lanza should have came to him for mental evaluation.  However, its true that Mr. Rosen heard the shooting on that day but, who is to say that someone else did not call the police before he did.  That is the one thing a lot of people are saying, why didn’t he call the police.  Will to those who think he’s a part of it let me tell you something, you did not know what happen on that day so, who are you to say what was going through that man’s mind when a shooting took place? Have you, yourself been in that situation?  If so then okay but, if not keep that trap of yours shut because the man is a hero and 10 thousand people believe it so, get a life you idiot cowards.

Now for an elementary school two states away in Pennsylvania, what was that school thinking?  They allowed a complete stranger to take a little girl outside of class to only leave her under a park bleacher and her own mother did not know where she is but, they stated that a person claiming to be the child’s mother came to pick her up that morning.   You have to be kidding me on this one for aren’t there any uniform procedure to make sure that a person claims to be who they really are?  Couldn’t the school went and ask for some ID when it came to picking up the child?   That school has a lot of explaining to do and since the little girl has been found, they need to find the woman that blind folded her and made her go under the bleacher.  Poor child is at the children’s hospital right now to recover from hypothermia, this is an outrage to me and many other people whom do or do not have children.

We need more procedures to protect our children from these crazy people if we don’t then what is the purpose of keeping population in the United States?  First we need to reform the safety administration within the schools of all levels and we need to change the policy of gun control.   Secondly we need to have people evaluated more to determine if they are fit to carry a weapon of any kind when it comes to the safety of society.

School safety should be a priority for every state within the United States and within the communities surrounding the schools.

 

What does the future lie for me?

I go on Yahoo and Google every day to see what articles the staff writes for their users to read and in the category of Friends, Family, and other relationship they come out with all these different types of articles that make me wonder where is my future on the concept of ever finding my forever spouse?

Today seems that its okay to have premarital sex, to be low in morals, and treat women like dogs.  In addition it does not seem people can respect a woman’s decision of abstaining from premarital sex and getting to know the person as an individual.   The older I get the harder it is for someone such as myself to get married because the higher of standards I will have for, I am going to school to pursue a career in law or Economics which ever one offers me a position first.   In addition I plan to have a Masters in another field as a fall back whether it is Art History, Cultural Anthropology, Romance Studies, East Asian Studies, English, or Women’s History.

The opportunities for me will be endless but, will there be a man alive to live up to my standards?  Will he be morally upright? Will he be spiritual minded? Will he love me like he loves his own body?  Can he mentally carry the roles place in front of him as his role as a husband?  Those are the questions that I ask quite often but, it seems that I get the Fond de l’ Etang type of men which desire a woman that is unattainable.

I cannot recall how many times men have asked me if I am a virgin or not.  Why? Do you wish to be the first one to have me lose my virginity to and my self respect?  I have too much respect for myself in order to do such a thing and, I view people whom are heterosexual to engage in premarital sexual intercourse to be Fond de l’Etang group of people.   In addition what would my family would think of me if I was to engage in something like that?  I come from a family with a very conservative christian belief and background because I am to be different from the rest of the world.   In many ways I am for example I have a wide range of interests that people in my age or even gender bracket lack.

For example

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I found this unique Chinaware to be awesome yet, there are very few people my age in the south of the United States that seem to appreciate its fine beauty because they call stuff like this to be prissy.   Hmmm I wonder what is so prissy about it.   Its just a form of artwork that came from a human mind so, what is so prissy about it except the fact its bone china.   However, when I get paid this will be on my list of things I am going to by for I will get every color that this comes in and place in my ever growing collection of china that was a dream back in my youth.  Only thing is my china collection is lacking pink because I always said that I would have a collection of china that was nothing but pink and, looking back now the china collection is there but there isn’t any pink.

Another thing that I have a great amount of interest in is the creativity of plants because there are so many ways to create things by using mother nature.  I have yet found a man that shares or even respects this matter of artistic appreciation.

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The pictures that I have with a range of plants that were made into creative pieces of living artwork are endless but, the appreciation value in my fellow peers is zero.

When it comes to the art of cake decorating the interest in the field of art arise again because I find it so interesting of how people can make cakes to like like different things.   Lately, the only other person that shares the same interest is my mother but, I did come from her and this is what she raise me to like and to do if I ever gotten the chance to do so.

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These three are my favorite forms of cake decoration at the moment because I do know there will be more to come and the endless possibilities are still out there.  Could you imagine what it would be like to have a cake such as these at a formal or informal event?

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This is not a cake but, I also find the work of fruit and vegetables to be a great subject of interest as well for, I know a lot of time was taken in order to make this creative piece of artwork.

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My creative interest are forever rising and forget about when it comes to hand work.   I am all over knitting, Crocheting, Kumihimo, Latch-hook, Needlepoint, Quilting, Embroidery, and much much more.    If I was to have a house the inside would be a hot mess because of the things I am able to make.

So I am pretty sure that I will never see that day come when I am married but, on the good side of it I have a promising career outlook for the next 40 to 5o years. 🙂

How shyness affects your life.

“The shy person misses out on friendships and opportunities” – Author unknown

What is shyness?

Shyness is the feeling of being uneasy around people-mostly strangers, those in authority, persons of the opposite sex, or even your peers.

How Shyness affects you life.

By withdrawing, not speaking up, or being so preoccupied with self that you don’t pay attention to others, you may leave the impression that you are stuck-up, unfriendly, bored, or even uncaring or ignorant.   Only do that to those that you do not like and do not want to associate yourself with.  When your thoughts are on yourself, it is hard to concentrate on the discussion at hand so, you pay less attention to the information you are receiving  then what you fear most happens-you appear foolish.

You basically locked yourself in the prison of shyness and have thrown away the key; therefore, you have let opportunities pass you by and you accept items and situations that you really do not want-all because you are afraid to speak up and express your opinion.  By doing that you lose out on the joys of meeting new people, making new friends and doing things that can enhance your life. Others lose out too so they never get to know the real you.

“The shy person imagines that others think little of him”-Author unknown

Overcoming Shyness

This takes time and effort so behavior can be changed, first of all, stop worrying about whether the other person is evaluating you.   If a person childishly poke fun at you, understand that he has the problem.   “He belittles his neighbor lacks sense.”  Those whom are worth making friends will not judge you by your outward appearance but, will judge you for the person that you are.

You can overcome shyness by

  • Wanting to change and believing that change is really possible
  • Replacing negative thoughts with positive action
  • Setting realistic and meaningful goals for yourself
  • Knowing how to relax and cope with anxiety
  • Rehearsing a situation beforehand
  • Gaining confidence by progressively successful experience
  • Remembering that differences of opinion exist and that others err too
  • Practicing to increase skills and learn new ones
  • Reaching out to show love and to help others
  • Dressing tastefully and acting with confidence
  • Relying on the help that God gives
  • Being involved with christian meetings and in sharing your faith with others

Making a start

Learn to be more social such as saying hello in shape fashion or form because there is 7,000 ways to say hello to a person (really there are 7,000 ways to say hello) and start up a conversation.  Remember when you are having a conversation you are responsible for the 50% of the communication; saying ” that didn’t come out right ” will help you to relax and continue with the conversation.

Just be you and make sure that you wear clothes that are comfortable plus clean and pressed.  Do not stress so much when trying to speak to a person, just speak to them as you known them for years.  The more you practice and the more you do it the more sociable you will become.

 

 

The Indiana boy whom was abducted in 94 found in Minnesota

INDIANAPOLIS — Richard Wayne Landers Jr. was just 5 years old when he and his paternal grandparents, who were upset over custody arrangements, disappeared from a small town in northern Indiana.

Nineteen years later, news that he has been found living under an assumed name in Minnesota left his mother overjoyed and “jumping up and down,” her husband said Thursday shortly after police announced the break in the case.

Indiana State Police said the now 24-year-old Landers was found in Long Prairie, Minn., thanks in part to his Social Security number. His grandparents were living under aliases in a nearby town and confirmed his identity, investigators said.

Police declined to say whether the grandparents will face charges, citing the ongoing investigation.

Landers’ mother, Lisa Harter, was “jumping up and down for joy” when investigators told her a few days ago that her son had been found, her husband Richard Harter told The Associated Press in a telephone interview.

He said his wife is “the happiest woman on earth.”

Harter said he and his wife were working with an attorney and hoped to reunite with his stepson soon. Police said Landers is married and expecting his first child.

Harter declined further comment and referred questions about the case to his attorney, who didn’t immediately return phone messages Thursday. Investigators declined to release the names under which Landers and his grandparents had been living.

Police said the boy’s paternal grandparents, Richard E. and Ruth A. Landers, abducted him in July 1994 because they were “upset over pending court proceedings” regarding his placement.

Police spokesman Sgt. Ron Galaviz said it appears the boy’s father was never in the picture. Lisa and Richard Harter had married a year earlier.

Authorities believe the grandparents took the boy from their home in Wolcottville, about 50 miles southwest of South Bend, and fled. They were charged at the time with misdemeanor interference with custody, which was bumped up to a felony in 1999. But the charge was dismissed in 2008 after the case went cold.

Investigators reopened the case in September when Richard Harter turned over the boy’s Social Security card to an Indiana State Police detective.

That turned up a man with the same Social Security number and date of birth living in Long Prairie, about 100 miles northwest of Minneapolis. A driver’s license photo for the man appeared to resemble Landers, police said.

Indiana State Police then contacted Minnesota law enforcement agencies, which began investigating along with the FBI and the Social Security Administration.

The grandparents were found living in nearby Browerville, Minn.

Well my question is what charges are the grandparents are going to face because since when kidnapping legal in the gray area?

Why Friendships End

Why friendships end can be a perplexing problem for many people. The only understandable reason for a friendship to end perhaps is death. But lots of us loose friends and often are unsure of how, what we thought were solid relationships, somehow dissolved almost into thin air. Considering some of the reasons why friendships end can help us to move on with less trauma and in some cases perhaps find ways to avoid the loss of a good friend through understanding.

Changes in geography can often do a number on even the most sturdy of friendships. The separation caused by living at a distance from one another makes it more difficult to stay close. Sure you can e -mail, call, write or skype but its just not the same. You can’t go shopping or to a ball game or hang out at your local hot spot when you are separated by miles. If you want to do all the recreational things you used to do, you will necessarily do them with someone else. In such situations the friendship doesn’t have to end. You can make a conscious decision to stay in touch, to visit, to be there for one another. Most of all you don’t have to endure the pain of wondering what you did wrong that ended your friendship. No one is at fault here.

Some friendships however dissolve over time when substantive issues begin to become more important than the relationship itself. Differences that meant less when you were different can suddenly take on a much more important place in your life. Religious and political issues can lead to the kinds of heated discussions that make one or both friend begin to question how long they really want the friendship to continue. When sharing time together always ends up in an emotional or sarcastic outburst your friendship may be on its way out.

Not all friends work at the same jobs. There are plenty of solid friendships between white collar and blue collar workers. Still differences in lifestyles and life goals can cause disturbances among good friends. You get excited and dejected about very different things. You find it difficult to be supportive of your friend because you disagree so vehemently with his or her life choices. Eventually one or both of you will begin to find that it is more relaxing to be in the presence of people with whom you have more in common.

Maturity plays a part in every relationship. When we are younger we can be friends with the class clown and if we happen to be that clown we may be quite willing to be buddies with the class genius. As we get older in years the level of our social maturity can play a role in the demise of some friendships. Depending on where we are the social maturity spectrum we may find our friends seem progressively more ridiculous or overly serious. We may even start to feel embarrassed when we are with them. So the occasions for being together start to decline and so does the friendship.

Most difficult of all perhaps are the times when friendships are ended because there is an unequal effort being made by both members of the relationship. One friend is continually the one who calls, who makes plans, who drives, who pays. The other seems to be along for the ride. This kind of one sided friendship may exist for as long as the giving friend puts up with it but in some instances there is eventually the fatal straw that breaks the camels back and the friendship

Examining your own relationships from time to time can help you to keep them healthy and secure especially if you are willing to work at keeping a friendship solid. The bottom line in fact is the biggest reason why friendships end is because, for whatever reason, one or both of the friends have decided to stop working at the relationship. Friendships can survive, grow, mature and endure. It’s up to the friends to make that happen.