The Battle Of Addiction

Consider these statistics: About 2.7 million American women abuse alcohol or drugs. Twenty-eight percent of adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction are women. And, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling, almost half of those seeking help for a gambling addiction are female.

It is no secret that addiction of many varieties runs rampant in our society. And while there are just as many varied reasons as to why someone may stay in the grips of addiction, I believe crossing the line into the recovery process begins with one simple question which must be answered by anyone who is seeking freedom: do you want to get well?

A picture of this reality is illustrated in the biblical account of a paralyzed man, whose story is found in the New Testament book of John, chapter 5. The reader witnesses Jesus conversing with this man who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. He had apparently been lying all those years by a pool which was said to have healing properties. Yet, this man had never experienced the freedom that this pool of water afforded him.

While paralysis and addiction are two completely separate issues, I believe there is a very powerful principle embedded in the short dialogue that took place between Jesus and the man. In a simple and straightforward manner, Jesus looked at the man and asked: “Do you want to get well?” The man’s reply is full of excuses: “Sir, I have no one to help me, and when I go down, someone gets in my way.” As I read this, I can’t help but wonder: Could it be that the man had adopted the identity of being paralyzed? Or perhaps even the identity of being a victim? In order to be healed, the man had to want to change before anything could change. And so it is with the addict.

With the disease of addiction–whether it is to food, alcohol, money, sex, relationship–there is a tendency for the addict to be split, or double-minded. On one hand, she desires to be free, yet on the other she desires to remain in addiction. Because although destructive, the addictive behavior has been her only way to cope, to survive, to get her deep soul needs met. Yes, the addict will often say that she wants to get well, if only God will take away the addiction quickly and easily. However, in reality, she doesn’t quite want to fully surrender her secret struggles and trust that life on the other side is indeed better.

Recovery from addiction, while not easy, is also not complicated.

Personal experience taught me that recovery–in my case, from alcoholism and bulimia–is a hard-work miracle experienced one day at a time. Yet the journey begins with only one word. Do you want to get well? YES!

Advertisements

Amanda Tood- The Last Testament

How many teenagers and children have to commit suicide until people make a stand and go against bullying in any shape, fashion, or form?  We have teens that cannot make it through the rain because they do not get a chance to live another day for, they don’t believe they’ll ever pull through which they can if they put their mind to it.   Anyone can stand up once again and they are strong enough to mend themselves to be the person they dreamed about.

I cannot tell the pain reading those cards of what this young adult had to go through when dealing with cyber-bullies and bullies in school.   True it was a decision that she made which lead to the events that she lived through but, could there have been something done in order to prevent her from committing suicide when she still had her life ahead of her?  Who knew what this young adult could have done when it came to anything for, all we know she could have found the cure of certain cancers or, she could have brought economic peace to the world.

Amanda Todd was a young victim of a cyberstalker and child predator that duped her into flashing him.   There are so many young people who find themselves in this situation without giving a second thought because these adults gain the children’s trust in doing whatever they want of them.

In the world filled hatred, no natural affection, and lack of kindness it would be nice to find those who can grant a person loving-kindness, empathy, and kindness.   Those who have a hard heart should not deal with those who can give the compassion that this lonely, persecuted young adult had faced because of one simple mistake.   There are millions like her but, who is out there to help them?

Will you help a child or teenager that is being bullied by those who are hard of heart?   Are going to help them through the rain?

What to the ethics of dating?

After reading articles on dating and what people views are in the world of love and happiness how can people take marriage seriously?  The questions that younger generations are asking go beyond the boundary lines of personal questions that go to far.

The recent article I have read is that men and women are asking a person’s credit score, what difference does a person’s credit score make?  In addition why does it matter if a girl is a virgin or not? Why do so many want to have one date then have sexual intercourse?

What happened to abstaining from sexual intercourse to date a person to know them as an individual and they in turn can learn you as an individual?  What can sexual intercourse do to make you learn a person well enough to marry them?  Don’t people stop to think that if you have sexual intercourse that your relationship will not last that long because then the other person loses trust in them the morning after they had sex?  I find having sexual intercourse before marriage means that you cannot be mature enough to marry nor loyal to having one spouse so, you are more than likely to have more than one sex partner.   In addition there is a hefty price of promiscuity, promiscuity from its root word promiscuous is clearly a bad thing. It means immoral, loose, licentious and wanton. This is not all, it is also necessary to factor the cost of promiscuity such as:
• Sorrow,
• Pain,
• Anguish,
• Disease,
• Unwanted pregnancy and
• The sense of guilt
• Damage to sense of self-worth
• Disruption of one’s progress in life, to mention but a few.

We need to factor these costs also. All considered, abstinence is the way of the wise and premarital and extra-marital sex is the way of the foolish. It is like water and beer. Water is the drink of the wise while beer is the drink of the foolish, even as it is popular. Sexual promiscuity may be popular or common place, but it is still foolish indulgence and can never be elevated beyond that regardless of the wording and grammar used to postulate it.

If we all elect to abstain from premarital sex, there would be enough quality marriages to ensure that nobody have to stay many years in need of unfulfilled sexual urges. It is because of easy sexual intercourse from people of easy virtue, prostitutes and loose morals that is hindering marriages.

Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman is ordained of God in legal and lawful marriage relationship.

Part of our responsibility on this earth is to learn to master our appetites and control our urges to enable us be turned into the godhood that is possible for all of us. Sexual and other sensations are serving purposes of testing our ability to grow. The fact that people get tired of having sex with their sex-partners is a pointer that it is not meant to be frittered away as part of fun getting. Sexual intercourse has a big place in the scheme of creation. Used within that bound, it is a beautiful experience even when you are not able to get the wow or blow-job of it. No sexual intercourse can compare to sexual intercourse in purity – within bounds of legal and lawful marriage or what Church people would call holy wedlock.

Regardless of what is said here, each individual know the price they pay. People should count their costs on this subject also so that adults do not stand by and watch a goat give birth with rope around its neck.

Many people have been able to survive the setback caused by premarital sex in their lives and still made good and sometimes great strides and thrived. One thousand times that number is not able to survive it. That choice to get involved in premarital sex changed the course of their lives for bad and they could not escape the price tag.

We have the power to choose what we would. But we do not have power to choose the consequences of our actions. This is called agency or freedom to choose. Our world is created by choice. We are in it by choice and each individual’s choices would shape their character and ultimately their destiny.

However, there is so many loose people in the world that finding one that does not have sex before marriage is very rare.   I do not see why people cannot suppress their sexual desires in order to make a strong foundation to a relationship that can lead to years of happiness.
First of all what is the sole purpose of dating?
dating

dating

Among all people whom are placed upon this earth, dating has an honorable purpose—to help a young man and woman determine if they want to get married to each other. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you need to make wedding plans the moment you start dating. In fact, many people do not end up marrying the first person they date. At the same time, a person shouldn’t date if he or she isn’t ready to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage.  So if you have the intention of being married then you need to abstain from sexual intercourse during the time period of dating but, if you are having sex with the person then why get married?

If the one you are dating is pressuring you to have sex or sexual intercourse then you are better off without them in your life.   Says James 3:17: “The wisdom from above is first of all chaste.”  So if they do not respect you enough to not have sex then move on to someone else.
In addition one needs to ask themselves is this person right for me?  What are the qualities that you are looking for in a potential mate?  Does the person need to be spiritual-minded, Friendly, Trustworthy, Morally Upright and Goal oriented?  There is nothing wrong with the traits that are mention but, when you are more mature the traits should determine if the person is right for you.
dating2

Know Yourself First

Before you can consider who might be right for you, you need to know yourself well. To learn more about yourself, answer the following questions:

What are my strengths? ․․․․․

What are my weaknesses or vulnerabilities? ․․․․․

What emotional and spiritual needs do I have? ․․․․․

Getting to know yourself is no small task, but questions like those above can get you started. The more you understand yourself, the better equipped you will be to find someone who will amplify your strengths rather than your weaknesses. What if you think you’ve found that person?

Will Just Anyone Do?

“Can I get to know you better?” That question will make you either cringe or leap for joy—depending on who’s asking. Suppose you answer yes. Over the course of time, how can you tell if your boyfriend or girlfriend is right for you?

Suppose you want to buy a new pair of shoes. You go to the store and find a pair that catches your eye. You try on the shoes, only to find that—much to your disappointment—they’re too tight. What would you do? Buy the shoes anyway? Or look for a different pair? Clearly, the better choice is to put the shoes back and look for others. It would make little sense to walk around in a pair of shoes that just didn’t fit!

It’s similar with choosing a marriage partner. Over time, more than a few members of the opposite sex may catch your eye. But not just anyone will do. After all, you want someone you’ll be comfortable with—someone who truly fits your personality and your goals.

Looking Beyond the Surface

To answer that last question, look at your friend objectively. Be careful, though! You might be inclined to see only what you want to see. So take your time. Try to perceive your friend’s true nature. This will take effort on your part. But that’s only to be expected. To illustrate: Imagine that you want to purchase a car. How thoroughly would you research it? Would you be concerned only about the outer appearance? Wouldn’t it make sense to look deeper—perhaps learning as much as you could about the condition of the engine?

Finding a mate is a much weightier issue than choosing a car. Yet, many who date don’t look beyond the surface. Instead, they quickly point to the things they have in common: ‘We like the same music.’ ‘We enjoy the same activities.’ ‘We agree on everything!’ As mentioned earlier, though, if you’re truly past the bloom of youth, you look beyond superficial traits. You see the need to discern “the secret person of the heart.”

For example, rather than focus on how much you agree on things, it might be more revealing to note what happens when you disagree. In other words, how does this person handle conflict—by insisting on his or her way, perhaps giving in to “fits of anger” or “abusive speech”? Or does this person show reasonableness—a willingness to yield for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?

Another factor to consider: Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous? Does he or she demand to know your every move? “I hear of dating couples who fight because one person can’t stand that the other hasn’t constantly ‘checked in,’” says Nicole. “I think that’s a bad sign.”—1 Corinthians 13:4.

Issues such as those raised above focus on personality and conduct. However, it’s just as important to learn something of your friend’s reputation. How is that one viewed by others? You may want to talk to those who have known this person for some time, such as mature ones in the congregation. That way you will know if he or she is “well reported on.”—Acts 16:1, 2.

to be continued……