It has been a while…

It has been a while since I have returned to my blogsite and, I does not seem much has changed on wordpress but, in the world outside has change dramatically.  There are some things that I want to get off my chest and, one of those things is people.   Let’s face it, I was bullied when I was in school and, I lost weight that no one really recognized me until I started dealing with those who were my friends in school.

People are full of crap and that is a fact jack; I find myself happier going to the gym seven days a week for three hours and then spending another 4 hours at home working out with my favorite DVD’s.    There is one thing that is common when a girl or guy loses a large amount of weight; there is negativity that follows behind them because there were people that felt pity for those that were overweight but, when they lose it, the matter turns into a problem that needs to be solved.

I noticed with men that they come up to you, all of a sudden asking you what you are doing to lose the weight.    A lot of these men are the same ones that treated me like garbage but, all of a sudden they want to flirt and possibly get to know me better.   Sorry! I rather to deal with some real and sincere people.

Now that I am almost at my goal of 122.4 pounds, I feel that there are going to be more things that needed to be said.  I am still not done with the skin part but, I will state that its going to be a process of toning my skin in order to better reveal my hidden hourglass figure.

I am sick and tired of dealing with a bunch of jerks that want to get close enough to me in order to ask workout questions and, eating tips; in order to keep telling me “you look good!”  I know it and I don’t need some (insert your choice words here) tell me that I look good.  I don’t look good, I look great.

I might for the next summer when my skin is tighten, I’ll post a picture of me in a bathing suit that I dreamed of wearing in my teenage years.

I hope to get my life back together and, live my life being a healthy fitness fanatic that I am today.

I might post a few videos and pictures of eating in order to help those going through the changes.

There are a lot of crappos out there but, punching them out to get the good ones takes a lot of training with the punching bag.

Until I leave the gym, see yeah!

Live the life you want

There is no sense in worrying about the events that goes around you in the every day life of being a human being.   The way I see it is if you worship your heavenly father Jehovah God and let your burdens on him then everything else will come in due time.   An example that I like to use is one that was given to me by a brother giving a talk to my congregation for, he stated that Jehovah God feeds the birds so, why wouldn’t find a way to feed his people who are loyal to him?   Well it took me a lot of time to think about that and I went home to discover hey that’s true if I remain in  God’s love and come to know his ways then I can have a better path set out for me.

When it came to dealing with difficult people I look at different accounts in the bibles such as when Moses cautioned people that their murmuring was not merely against him and Aaron but also against Jehovah God.

Looking in the account of Exodus 15: 22-24 –  Later Moses caused Israel to depart from the Red Sea and they went out to the wilderness of Shur and marched on for three days in the wilderness, but they did not find water.  In time they came to Ma′rah,but they were not able to drink the water from Ma′rah because it was bitter. That is why he called its name Ma′rah.   And the people began to murmur against Moses,saying: “What are we to drink?”

Another account that I read in Exodus was Exodus 16: 2-12 where it goes on to state ” And the entire assembly of the sons of Israel began to murmur against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness. And the sons of Israel kept saying to them: “If only we had died by Jehovah’s hand in the land of Egypt while we were sitting by the pots of meat, while we were eating bread to satisfaction, because YOU have brought us out into this wilderness to put this whole congregation to death by famine.” Then Jehovah said to Moses: “Here I am raining down bread for YOU from the heavens; and the people must go out and pick up each his amount day for day,in order that I may put them to the test as to whether they will walk in my law or not.  And it must occur on the sixth day that they must prepare what they will bring in, and it must prove double what they keep picking up day by day.” So Moses and Aaron said to all the sons of Israel: “At evening YOU will certainly know that it is Jehovah who has brought YOU out from the land of Egypt.  And in the morning YOU will indeed see Jehovah’s glory, because he has heard YOUR murmurings against Jehovah. And what are we that YOU should murmur against us?”  And Moses continued: “It will be when Jehovah gives YOU in the evening meat to eat and in the morning bread to satisfaction, because Jehovah has heard YOUR murmurings that YOU are murmuring against him. And what are we? YOUR murmurings are not against us, but against Jehovah.” And Moses went on to say to Aaron: “Say to the entire assembly of the sons of Israel, ‘Come near before Jehovah, because he has heard YOUR murmurings.’” Then it occurred that as soon as Aaron had spoken to the entire assembly of the sons of Israel, they turned and faced toward the wilderness, and, look! Jehovah’s glory appeared in the cloud.   And Jehovah spoke further to Moses, saying: 12 “I have heard the murmurings of the sons of Israel.   Speak to them, saying, ‘Between the two evenings YOU will eat meat and in the morning YOU will be satisfied with bread; and YOU will certainly know that I am Jehovah YOUR God.’”

I can understand the dealings of what Moses had to go through for dealing with a lot of seemingly ungrateful individuals whom were delivered out of the land of Egypt to dwell in the wilderness was stressful.   Like in the day of Moses and the land of Egypt we also have a lot of difficult people that we must deal with similar to the situation placed upon Moses and Aaron.

As long as we are all living you are going to deal with all types of people with a wide range of personalities but, there are some that are going to get under your skin for who knows that reason maybe; however, there are ways of overcoming such things in our lives.   if you do not walk the same path that they follow then they will speak negatively of you, this means that you should not alter they way you are in order to please them because there are consequences of being a people pleasure.

If you try to please everyone then you don’t make you what is you.  Remember those videos that call for standing above the influence and going against peer pressures?  If not you may want to take the time to look over those videos and better access them to see how you can stand above the influence.

Staying about the influence and dealing with difficult people is the two things that causes stress in many individuals but, as long as we worship god we all can over come those challenges that we face each step of the way.

 

Show loving-Kindness that gets notice by ones that don’t deserve it.

I have been reading a few blogs on the fact that so many people were bullied such as myself and making it through the rain storm of Middle School as well as High School was a challenge.   I made it through the rain with my virginity intact and my mind still goal-oriented.

I have been reading post from other users and they have been going through the same things that I went through yet, they have made it through that stormy time or they are still going through but, are seeing the rainbow at the very end.   Its so funny that people are so full of horse pucky that they pretend nothing happens between you as well as them.

I found out through showing loving kindness for those in need it has taken notice by others some of the them worthy of it and others in their dreams.   There are pros and cons to being kind to others and giving them your time without asking anything in return but, the thing is people start to see that kindness you show to one set group of people then they are the ones that are going to want it.

Some of the things I have done are not meant to be told but, for the most part I do not understand why so, many people want the same type of love and affection when they cannot pass it on themselves.  I will continue to pass on loving kindness but, I will do it to those in need and not to those that are causing the pain as well as aggravation.

How shyness affects your life.

“The shy person misses out on friendships and opportunities” – Author unknown

What is shyness?

Shyness is the feeling of being uneasy around people-mostly strangers, those in authority, persons of the opposite sex, or even your peers.

How Shyness affects you life.

By withdrawing, not speaking up, or being so preoccupied with self that you don’t pay attention to others, you may leave the impression that you are stuck-up, unfriendly, bored, or even uncaring or ignorant.   Only do that to those that you do not like and do not want to associate yourself with.  When your thoughts are on yourself, it is hard to concentrate on the discussion at hand so, you pay less attention to the information you are receiving  then what you fear most happens-you appear foolish.

You basically locked yourself in the prison of shyness and have thrown away the key; therefore, you have let opportunities pass you by and you accept items and situations that you really do not want-all because you are afraid to speak up and express your opinion.  By doing that you lose out on the joys of meeting new people, making new friends and doing things that can enhance your life. Others lose out too so they never get to know the real you.

“The shy person imagines that others think little of him”-Author unknown

Overcoming Shyness

This takes time and effort so behavior can be changed, first of all, stop worrying about whether the other person is evaluating you.   If a person childishly poke fun at you, understand that he has the problem.   “He belittles his neighbor lacks sense.”  Those whom are worth making friends will not judge you by your outward appearance but, will judge you for the person that you are.

You can overcome shyness by

  • Wanting to change and believing that change is really possible
  • Replacing negative thoughts with positive action
  • Setting realistic and meaningful goals for yourself
  • Knowing how to relax and cope with anxiety
  • Rehearsing a situation beforehand
  • Gaining confidence by progressively successful experience
  • Remembering that differences of opinion exist and that others err too
  • Practicing to increase skills and learn new ones
  • Reaching out to show love and to help others
  • Dressing tastefully and acting with confidence
  • Relying on the help that God gives
  • Being involved with christian meetings and in sharing your faith with others

Making a start

Learn to be more social such as saying hello in shape fashion or form because there is 7,000 ways to say hello to a person (really there are 7,000 ways to say hello) and start up a conversation.  Remember when you are having a conversation you are responsible for the 50% of the communication; saying ” that didn’t come out right ” will help you to relax and continue with the conversation.

Just be you and make sure that you wear clothes that are comfortable plus clean and pressed.  Do not stress so much when trying to speak to a person, just speak to them as you known them for years.  The more you practice and the more you do it the more sociable you will become.

 

 

What to the ethics of dating?

After reading articles on dating and what people views are in the world of love and happiness how can people take marriage seriously?  The questions that younger generations are asking go beyond the boundary lines of personal questions that go to far.

The recent article I have read is that men and women are asking a person’s credit score, what difference does a person’s credit score make?  In addition why does it matter if a girl is a virgin or not? Why do so many want to have one date then have sexual intercourse?

What happened to abstaining from sexual intercourse to date a person to know them as an individual and they in turn can learn you as an individual?  What can sexual intercourse do to make you learn a person well enough to marry them?  Don’t people stop to think that if you have sexual intercourse that your relationship will not last that long because then the other person loses trust in them the morning after they had sex?  I find having sexual intercourse before marriage means that you cannot be mature enough to marry nor loyal to having one spouse so, you are more than likely to have more than one sex partner.   In addition there is a hefty price of promiscuity, promiscuity from its root word promiscuous is clearly a bad thing. It means immoral, loose, licentious and wanton. This is not all, it is also necessary to factor the cost of promiscuity such as:
• Sorrow,
• Pain,
• Anguish,
• Disease,
• Unwanted pregnancy and
• The sense of guilt
• Damage to sense of self-worth
• Disruption of one’s progress in life, to mention but a few.

We need to factor these costs also. All considered, abstinence is the way of the wise and premarital and extra-marital sex is the way of the foolish. It is like water and beer. Water is the drink of the wise while beer is the drink of the foolish, even as it is popular. Sexual promiscuity may be popular or common place, but it is still foolish indulgence and can never be elevated beyond that regardless of the wording and grammar used to postulate it.

If we all elect to abstain from premarital sex, there would be enough quality marriages to ensure that nobody have to stay many years in need of unfulfilled sexual urges. It is because of easy sexual intercourse from people of easy virtue, prostitutes and loose morals that is hindering marriages.

Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman is ordained of God in legal and lawful marriage relationship.

Part of our responsibility on this earth is to learn to master our appetites and control our urges to enable us be turned into the godhood that is possible for all of us. Sexual and other sensations are serving purposes of testing our ability to grow. The fact that people get tired of having sex with their sex-partners is a pointer that it is not meant to be frittered away as part of fun getting. Sexual intercourse has a big place in the scheme of creation. Used within that bound, it is a beautiful experience even when you are not able to get the wow or blow-job of it. No sexual intercourse can compare to sexual intercourse in purity – within bounds of legal and lawful marriage or what Church people would call holy wedlock.

Regardless of what is said here, each individual know the price they pay. People should count their costs on this subject also so that adults do not stand by and watch a goat give birth with rope around its neck.

Many people have been able to survive the setback caused by premarital sex in their lives and still made good and sometimes great strides and thrived. One thousand times that number is not able to survive it. That choice to get involved in premarital sex changed the course of their lives for bad and they could not escape the price tag.

We have the power to choose what we would. But we do not have power to choose the consequences of our actions. This is called agency or freedom to choose. Our world is created by choice. We are in it by choice and each individual’s choices would shape their character and ultimately their destiny.

However, there is so many loose people in the world that finding one that does not have sex before marriage is very rare.   I do not see why people cannot suppress their sexual desires in order to make a strong foundation to a relationship that can lead to years of happiness.
First of all what is the sole purpose of dating?
dating

dating

Among all people whom are placed upon this earth, dating has an honorable purpose—to help a young man and woman determine if they want to get married to each other. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you need to make wedding plans the moment you start dating. In fact, many people do not end up marrying the first person they date. At the same time, a person shouldn’t date if he or she isn’t ready to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage.  So if you have the intention of being married then you need to abstain from sexual intercourse during the time period of dating but, if you are having sex with the person then why get married?

If the one you are dating is pressuring you to have sex or sexual intercourse then you are better off without them in your life.   Says James 3:17: “The wisdom from above is first of all chaste.”  So if they do not respect you enough to not have sex then move on to someone else.
In addition one needs to ask themselves is this person right for me?  What are the qualities that you are looking for in a potential mate?  Does the person need to be spiritual-minded, Friendly, Trustworthy, Morally Upright and Goal oriented?  There is nothing wrong with the traits that are mention but, when you are more mature the traits should determine if the person is right for you.
dating2

Know Yourself First

Before you can consider who might be right for you, you need to know yourself well. To learn more about yourself, answer the following questions:

What are my strengths? ․․․․․

What are my weaknesses or vulnerabilities? ․․․․․

What emotional and spiritual needs do I have? ․․․․․

Getting to know yourself is no small task, but questions like those above can get you started. The more you understand yourself, the better equipped you will be to find someone who will amplify your strengths rather than your weaknesses. What if you think you’ve found that person?

Will Just Anyone Do?

“Can I get to know you better?” That question will make you either cringe or leap for joy—depending on who’s asking. Suppose you answer yes. Over the course of time, how can you tell if your boyfriend or girlfriend is right for you?

Suppose you want to buy a new pair of shoes. You go to the store and find a pair that catches your eye. You try on the shoes, only to find that—much to your disappointment—they’re too tight. What would you do? Buy the shoes anyway? Or look for a different pair? Clearly, the better choice is to put the shoes back and look for others. It would make little sense to walk around in a pair of shoes that just didn’t fit!

It’s similar with choosing a marriage partner. Over time, more than a few members of the opposite sex may catch your eye. But not just anyone will do. After all, you want someone you’ll be comfortable with—someone who truly fits your personality and your goals.

Looking Beyond the Surface

To answer that last question, look at your friend objectively. Be careful, though! You might be inclined to see only what you want to see. So take your time. Try to perceive your friend’s true nature. This will take effort on your part. But that’s only to be expected. To illustrate: Imagine that you want to purchase a car. How thoroughly would you research it? Would you be concerned only about the outer appearance? Wouldn’t it make sense to look deeper—perhaps learning as much as you could about the condition of the engine?

Finding a mate is a much weightier issue than choosing a car. Yet, many who date don’t look beyond the surface. Instead, they quickly point to the things they have in common: ‘We like the same music.’ ‘We enjoy the same activities.’ ‘We agree on everything!’ As mentioned earlier, though, if you’re truly past the bloom of youth, you look beyond superficial traits. You see the need to discern “the secret person of the heart.”

For example, rather than focus on how much you agree on things, it might be more revealing to note what happens when you disagree. In other words, how does this person handle conflict—by insisting on his or her way, perhaps giving in to “fits of anger” or “abusive speech”? Or does this person show reasonableness—a willingness to yield for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?

Another factor to consider: Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous? Does he or she demand to know your every move? “I hear of dating couples who fight because one person can’t stand that the other hasn’t constantly ‘checked in,’” says Nicole. “I think that’s a bad sign.”—1 Corinthians 13:4.

Issues such as those raised above focus on personality and conduct. However, it’s just as important to learn something of your friend’s reputation. How is that one viewed by others? You may want to talk to those who have known this person for some time, such as mature ones in the congregation. That way you will know if he or she is “well reported on.”—Acts 16:1, 2.

to be continued……