The joys of being single

Everyone is so worried about being alone in the world because they want that special someone in their life but, there are plenty of things to do while you are still single but, when you finally realize it the opportunity to have it is too late because you have wasted you time trying to find that special someone in your life.   Going to school full time and working full time is already a chore for me but, to be quite honest I can always wait when it comes to finding love for, people are fake now a days so, I rather be alone and wait for the right person to come along to make a difference in my life.

Right now I am working on myself as an individual so, what can a relationship with a person do to help that out?  I am going to school in order to pursue a career that I will love not some job that I will hate and can’t wait until the 5 o’clock bell rings for it to end.   Majoring in Economics with a minor in Finance is more of a work for one person but, no I had to double major Economics with Biology with another minor in Neuroscience with a concentration in Environmental Science.  Yes, yes I am a very busy person and I don’t think there is anything else I could possibly do with my life at this moment in time other than to stay focus and keep my health up.

In addition, there are so many diseases out there that people have and they are so not honest with people so, why would I want to take that risk of getting something that I cannot get rid of?  Many people don’t stop to think about what they can do while they are single because for me, I would love to be single for a while longer so, I can state that I did things before I got married if that opportunity should ever arise because the way things are looking I do not wish to be married at this moment in time for, things are just getting crazier and crazier with people in the dating world.   Furthermore, people are making dating harder than what it really needs to be; my past dating experience is one that takes the cake because my ex-boyfriend was a hot mess of emotions that he couldn’t even be considered the man of the relationship, I had to take that role for the both of us.

Lastly, I need to focus on better things rather than worrying about starting a new relationship with somebody.   The only hits I get now are from people who I do not want to waste my time with but, not all of them are men some of them are women and for some reason I get the cute lesbians I wonder why?  I hope I do not give off the husband complex to them because that is kinda gross in my opinion but, they do give off nice comments every time they walk by so, I guess that I could smile more.  Anyway not worrying about having a relationship just now but, if the time comes then yes I can start a new one right now I am trying to work on myself and make better relationships with other people.

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Today it is raining so, once again stuck inside

She walks in the vast world, with endless possibilities.

Even with the drops of rain falling down, splashing on

her clothes and creating puddles on the ground.

 

Her footsteps echo through the grey sky that offers

no sunshine as she continues to walk; taking no care

to avoid the water that floods all the remaining dry spots

on the jeans she wears.

 

Hair drenched-the rain begins to lighten and she finds that

she is weighed down by all the soaked up rainy day weather

that has found her.

 

A small smile plays on her red lips as she gazes up at the

sky where a beautiful rainbow formed; red, yellow orange,

blue and purple-dazzled like a new form of glitter that has

turned the sky into some magnificent show.

 

Marveling, she broke into a grin. For this was her favorite

part about rainy days, the rain that brought renewed hope

into her heart.

One of my friends that cross the rainbow bridge

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A WORLD WITHOUT YOU………..

I went outside this morning, and nothing was the same

You didn’t greet me this time when I called your name

For the first time in a long time, the paper wasn’t torn

The world is so different, all I do is mourn

I left a bowl of food for you, that I know you’ll never eat

The yard outside sits alone, and will no longer feel your feet

Your frisbee is laying on the porch, the holes you dug are still there

Your doggy brush is by the door, your toys are everywhere

Your leash is waiting by the gate for the walk we just can’t take

All the memories of you I see, as my heart begins to break

As I stood there and thought of you, a tear dropped from my eye

I never thought the day would come, the day that you would die

As the tears rolled down my face, I dropped to my knees in sorrow

I can barely face today, how will I feel tomorrow?

As I buried my face in my hands, I bawled like never before

When I was done, I took a breath, and walked back in the door

I got dressed and went to work, I dreaded coming home

Who would be there to greet me? Now I face the world alone

Now I lay here in my bed, all the world is dark

It is way too quiet outside, I long for just one more bark

Please come tackle me one more time, and track mud on the floor

Drool all over my toes again, chew up a sock once more

Come and lick my tears away, let me touch your fur

I want to see your soft brown eyes, I want things the way they were
As I cry myself to sleep, I remember as I close my lids

Tomorrow is a closer day, that we meet at the Rainbow Bridge…

Remembering an old friend, Rocky-bot was a very sweet guy once you got to know him and unfortunately like rotties do they have to cross the bridge some time but, not like the way Rocky did.  He was a sweet misunderstood guy that had some trust issues with strangers but, once he got to know you he was your best friend in the whole world.   He was put down due to neurological problems and extreme health issues that cause him in two days lose 14 lbs.   The decision was hard but, he is missed by his family and friends to the lives that he touch to those whom he met.   Rocky was a young Rottweiler with a lot of potential and his potential never bloomed to his fullest but, on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge he is showing his potential to other Rottweilers before him.

R.I.P  Rocky-bot 😥

 

Live the life you want

There is no sense in worrying about the events that goes around you in the every day life of being a human being.   The way I see it is if you worship your heavenly father Jehovah God and let your burdens on him then everything else will come in due time.   An example that I like to use is one that was given to me by a brother giving a talk to my congregation for, he stated that Jehovah God feeds the birds so, why wouldn’t find a way to feed his people who are loyal to him?   Well it took me a lot of time to think about that and I went home to discover hey that’s true if I remain in  God’s love and come to know his ways then I can have a better path set out for me.

When it came to dealing with difficult people I look at different accounts in the bibles such as when Moses cautioned people that their murmuring was not merely against him and Aaron but also against Jehovah God.

Looking in the account of Exodus 15: 22-24 –  Later Moses caused Israel to depart from the Red Sea and they went out to the wilderness of Shur and marched on for three days in the wilderness, but they did not find water.  In time they came to Ma′rah,but they were not able to drink the water from Ma′rah because it was bitter. That is why he called its name Ma′rah.   And the people began to murmur against Moses,saying: “What are we to drink?”

Another account that I read in Exodus was Exodus 16: 2-12 where it goes on to state ” And the entire assembly of the sons of Israel began to murmur against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness. And the sons of Israel kept saying to them: “If only we had died by Jehovah’s hand in the land of Egypt while we were sitting by the pots of meat, while we were eating bread to satisfaction, because YOU have brought us out into this wilderness to put this whole congregation to death by famine.” Then Jehovah said to Moses: “Here I am raining down bread for YOU from the heavens; and the people must go out and pick up each his amount day for day,in order that I may put them to the test as to whether they will walk in my law or not.  And it must occur on the sixth day that they must prepare what they will bring in, and it must prove double what they keep picking up day by day.” So Moses and Aaron said to all the sons of Israel: “At evening YOU will certainly know that it is Jehovah who has brought YOU out from the land of Egypt.  And in the morning YOU will indeed see Jehovah’s glory, because he has heard YOUR murmurings against Jehovah. And what are we that YOU should murmur against us?”  And Moses continued: “It will be when Jehovah gives YOU in the evening meat to eat and in the morning bread to satisfaction, because Jehovah has heard YOUR murmurings that YOU are murmuring against him. And what are we? YOUR murmurings are not against us, but against Jehovah.” And Moses went on to say to Aaron: “Say to the entire assembly of the sons of Israel, ‘Come near before Jehovah, because he has heard YOUR murmurings.’” Then it occurred that as soon as Aaron had spoken to the entire assembly of the sons of Israel, they turned and faced toward the wilderness, and, look! Jehovah’s glory appeared in the cloud.   And Jehovah spoke further to Moses, saying: 12 “I have heard the murmurings of the sons of Israel.   Speak to them, saying, ‘Between the two evenings YOU will eat meat and in the morning YOU will be satisfied with bread; and YOU will certainly know that I am Jehovah YOUR God.’”

I can understand the dealings of what Moses had to go through for dealing with a lot of seemingly ungrateful individuals whom were delivered out of the land of Egypt to dwell in the wilderness was stressful.   Like in the day of Moses and the land of Egypt we also have a lot of difficult people that we must deal with similar to the situation placed upon Moses and Aaron.

As long as we are all living you are going to deal with all types of people with a wide range of personalities but, there are some that are going to get under your skin for who knows that reason maybe; however, there are ways of overcoming such things in our lives.   if you do not walk the same path that they follow then they will speak negatively of you, this means that you should not alter they way you are in order to please them because there are consequences of being a people pleasure.

If you try to please everyone then you don’t make you what is you.  Remember those videos that call for standing above the influence and going against peer pressures?  If not you may want to take the time to look over those videos and better access them to see how you can stand above the influence.

Staying about the influence and dealing with difficult people is the two things that causes stress in many individuals but, as long as we worship god we all can over come those challenges that we face each step of the way.

 

Annoying questions that people whom are Bullies ask Me

There is a wide range of hobbies that I have whether it comes to the knowledge of a interesting subject or to creativity there is not end to what people ask me.  Many of them ask the top three following annoying questions that seem there is not end to it!!!!

  1. What are you doing?
  2. Why are interested in that because that was fun in the dark ages.
  3. Why are you still in 1200 this is 2000’s my dear?

Seriously?  What is so wrong about reading? Writing? Knitting? Crocheting? Needlepoint? Quilting? Embroidery? Sewing? Latchhooking? Kumihimo? and other forms of hobbies that my interests takes forever?

  1. Are you a virgin?
  2. Are you gay?
  3. Do you like …..?
  4. Is that your real hair? (formally)
  5. Are those your real nails? (Formally)
  6. Why do you wear vintage and antique articles of clothing?
  7. Why did grow your hair so long?
  8. Why are you always get your nails done?
  9. Why do you make your beauty products?

Hmmmm

annoying it is because if can be anywhere 10 to 30 questions at a time which are repetitive.

If face with a bully that ask questions to no end ask question to them back and make a lot of them uncomfortable for the bully to answer then they’ll leave you alone.

Show loving-Kindness that gets notice by ones that don’t deserve it.

I have been reading a few blogs on the fact that so many people were bullied such as myself and making it through the rain storm of Middle School as well as High School was a challenge.   I made it through the rain with my virginity intact and my mind still goal-oriented.

I have been reading post from other users and they have been going through the same things that I went through yet, they have made it through that stormy time or they are still going through but, are seeing the rainbow at the very end.   Its so funny that people are so full of horse pucky that they pretend nothing happens between you as well as them.

I found out through showing loving kindness for those in need it has taken notice by others some of the them worthy of it and others in their dreams.   There are pros and cons to being kind to others and giving them your time without asking anything in return but, the thing is people start to see that kindness you show to one set group of people then they are the ones that are going to want it.

Some of the things I have done are not meant to be told but, for the most part I do not understand why so, many people want the same type of love and affection when they cannot pass it on themselves.  I will continue to pass on loving kindness but, I will do it to those in need and not to those that are causing the pain as well as aggravation.

What does the future lie for me?

I go on Yahoo and Google every day to see what articles the staff writes for their users to read and in the category of Friends, Family, and other relationship they come out with all these different types of articles that make me wonder where is my future on the concept of ever finding my forever spouse?

Today seems that its okay to have premarital sex, to be low in morals, and treat women like dogs.  In addition it does not seem people can respect a woman’s decision of abstaining from premarital sex and getting to know the person as an individual.   The older I get the harder it is for someone such as myself to get married because the higher of standards I will have for, I am going to school to pursue a career in law or Economics which ever one offers me a position first.   In addition I plan to have a Masters in another field as a fall back whether it is Art History, Cultural Anthropology, Romance Studies, East Asian Studies, English, or Women’s History.

The opportunities for me will be endless but, will there be a man alive to live up to my standards?  Will he be morally upright? Will he be spiritual minded? Will he love me like he loves his own body?  Can he mentally carry the roles place in front of him as his role as a husband?  Those are the questions that I ask quite often but, it seems that I get the Fond de l’ Etang type of men which desire a woman that is unattainable.

I cannot recall how many times men have asked me if I am a virgin or not.  Why? Do you wish to be the first one to have me lose my virginity to and my self respect?  I have too much respect for myself in order to do such a thing and, I view people whom are heterosexual to engage in premarital sexual intercourse to be Fond de l’Etang group of people.   In addition what would my family would think of me if I was to engage in something like that?  I come from a family with a very conservative christian belief and background because I am to be different from the rest of the world.   In many ways I am for example I have a wide range of interests that people in my age or even gender bracket lack.

For example

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I found this unique Chinaware to be awesome yet, there are very few people my age in the south of the United States that seem to appreciate its fine beauty because they call stuff like this to be prissy.   Hmmm I wonder what is so prissy about it.   Its just a form of artwork that came from a human mind so, what is so prissy about it except the fact its bone china.   However, when I get paid this will be on my list of things I am going to by for I will get every color that this comes in and place in my ever growing collection of china that was a dream back in my youth.  Only thing is my china collection is lacking pink because I always said that I would have a collection of china that was nothing but pink and, looking back now the china collection is there but there isn’t any pink.

Another thing that I have a great amount of interest in is the creativity of plants because there are so many ways to create things by using mother nature.  I have yet found a man that shares or even respects this matter of artistic appreciation.

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The pictures that I have with a range of plants that were made into creative pieces of living artwork are endless but, the appreciation value in my fellow peers is zero.

When it comes to the art of cake decorating the interest in the field of art arise again because I find it so interesting of how people can make cakes to like like different things.   Lately, the only other person that shares the same interest is my mother but, I did come from her and this is what she raise me to like and to do if I ever gotten the chance to do so.

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These three are my favorite forms of cake decoration at the moment because I do know there will be more to come and the endless possibilities are still out there.  Could you imagine what it would be like to have a cake such as these at a formal or informal event?

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This is not a cake but, I also find the work of fruit and vegetables to be a great subject of interest as well for, I know a lot of time was taken in order to make this creative piece of artwork.

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My creative interest are forever rising and forget about when it comes to hand work.   I am all over knitting, Crocheting, Kumihimo, Latch-hook, Needlepoint, Quilting, Embroidery, and much much more.    If I was to have a house the inside would be a hot mess because of the things I am able to make.

So I am pretty sure that I will never see that day come when I am married but, on the good side of it I have a promising career outlook for the next 40 to 5o years. 🙂

We are Unafraid

To all those who were once the victims of bullying, we have made it through the rain.  We have survived the some of the turmoils that we have faced during those years and situations that we had face.

Here are videos that are meant to help those go through the troubles that we face each and every day.

Number 5

Number 4

Number 3

Number 2

Number 1

I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again on my own and I know that I’m strong enough to mend and every time I feel afraid.  I hold tighter to my faith and I live one more day and I make it through the rain.

That is what you should tell yourself everytime you have to face turmoil because there is nothing that you cannot face because you are not alone and your not fighting this battle alone.

 

How shyness affects your life.

“The shy person misses out on friendships and opportunities” – Author unknown

What is shyness?

Shyness is the feeling of being uneasy around people-mostly strangers, those in authority, persons of the opposite sex, or even your peers.

How Shyness affects you life.

By withdrawing, not speaking up, or being so preoccupied with self that you don’t pay attention to others, you may leave the impression that you are stuck-up, unfriendly, bored, or even uncaring or ignorant.   Only do that to those that you do not like and do not want to associate yourself with.  When your thoughts are on yourself, it is hard to concentrate on the discussion at hand so, you pay less attention to the information you are receiving  then what you fear most happens-you appear foolish.

You basically locked yourself in the prison of shyness and have thrown away the key; therefore, you have let opportunities pass you by and you accept items and situations that you really do not want-all because you are afraid to speak up and express your opinion.  By doing that you lose out on the joys of meeting new people, making new friends and doing things that can enhance your life. Others lose out too so they never get to know the real you.

“The shy person imagines that others think little of him”-Author unknown

Overcoming Shyness

This takes time and effort so behavior can be changed, first of all, stop worrying about whether the other person is evaluating you.   If a person childishly poke fun at you, understand that he has the problem.   “He belittles his neighbor lacks sense.”  Those whom are worth making friends will not judge you by your outward appearance but, will judge you for the person that you are.

You can overcome shyness by

  • Wanting to change and believing that change is really possible
  • Replacing negative thoughts with positive action
  • Setting realistic and meaningful goals for yourself
  • Knowing how to relax and cope with anxiety
  • Rehearsing a situation beforehand
  • Gaining confidence by progressively successful experience
  • Remembering that differences of opinion exist and that others err too
  • Practicing to increase skills and learn new ones
  • Reaching out to show love and to help others
  • Dressing tastefully and acting with confidence
  • Relying on the help that God gives
  • Being involved with christian meetings and in sharing your faith with others

Making a start

Learn to be more social such as saying hello in shape fashion or form because there is 7,000 ways to say hello to a person (really there are 7,000 ways to say hello) and start up a conversation.  Remember when you are having a conversation you are responsible for the 50% of the communication; saying ” that didn’t come out right ” will help you to relax and continue with the conversation.

Just be you and make sure that you wear clothes that are comfortable plus clean and pressed.  Do not stress so much when trying to speak to a person, just speak to them as you known them for years.  The more you practice and the more you do it the more sociable you will become.