My desire for music!!!!!!!

I want to listen to the sounds of beautiful voices that capture my attention and, I have no money to go to the theatre because there are more important things to pay for like the bills!!!!! Bills! Bills! Bills! Why??????

I wish to hear the music of the celtics so badly and see a beautiful play after that but, no I have to stay home and only dream of ever hearing such beautiful music such as that.  I am getting sick if hearing Bach and Mozart but, there are some things that never get old such as Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor played on an organ.

Life is cruel!!!!!!!

Documentary of Andrei Chikatilo

This guy was nuts!!!!!!!!!!

Andrei Chikatilo had issues that seriously needed to be address because there is no reason for him to kill 53 people just because he felt as a victim of nature’s indifference. He blamed everything that happened in his life which he had no control over which he believes drove him to murder. Yeah this documentary is worth watching because this 12 year murder spree is very interesting compared to Alexander Pichushkin’s documentary but, there probably be another documentary such as Chikatilo’s but, for now this is a documentary that should be watch for those that are trying to understanding neuroscience or psychology.

Crazy Documentary that I watched on Television

I have been watching the documentary about Russian Serial Killer Alexander Pichushkin though I think the guy is cute as a button  but, the thing about it is the murders were horrific due to the fact that he killed all those innocent people and to make sure they died was to shove a vodka bottle into those wounds.  I actually felt it happening to me O.o!

The interesting thing was his background he had been bullied as a adolescent which cause him to bottle his emotions but, the most interesting things was the fact his grandfather taught him how to play chess and discovered his beloved grandson had intelligence that was not being shown to its potential.  The snapping of Alexander Pichushkin was the death of his grandfather thus he had to return home to his mother which some theorize that he started that killing spree in Moscow Russia that scared citizens to death.

Thought I do have some Empathy for the man because I have been bullied but, I do not think murder was the solution to get rid of my years of frustration there were other methods but, he does not see it the way I do so that is why he is in prison for the rest of his life and I am out here trying to make a difference in my life and others because there is a life after bullying, you just need to get pass the rain.  Pichushkin got pass the bullying but, he never made it through the rain.

Rich, Lavishing Dinner tonight. Why did I do that to myself.

Tonight was the night that I decided to go ahead and eat out because I did not feel like cooking so, what do I do?  I go and order Italian food which I have been craving for quite a while since that fact that I am tired of Cowboy burgers and Hot wings.    Yes, I decided to go on the lines of elegance.   I forgot that this hidden treasure of a restaurant that I once visited had rich food so, therefore I could not eat that much of it so, if I couldn’t finish it all I would give it to my garbage disposal but, unfortunate my garbage disposal cross the rainbow bridge to join others before him.

Trying move on is harder than I thought since I raised that crazy since puppyhood.  How much I love that crazy dog.

The joys of being single

Everyone is so worried about being alone in the world because they want that special someone in their life but, there are plenty of things to do while you are still single but, when you finally realize it the opportunity to have it is too late because you have wasted you time trying to find that special someone in your life.   Going to school full time and working full time is already a chore for me but, to be quite honest I can always wait when it comes to finding love for, people are fake now a days so, I rather be alone and wait for the right person to come along to make a difference in my life.

Right now I am working on myself as an individual so, what can a relationship with a person do to help that out?  I am going to school in order to pursue a career that I will love not some job that I will hate and can’t wait until the 5 o’clock bell rings for it to end.   Majoring in Economics with a minor in Finance is more of a work for one person but, no I had to double major Economics with Biology with another minor in Neuroscience with a concentration in Environmental Science.  Yes, yes I am a very busy person and I don’t think there is anything else I could possibly do with my life at this moment in time other than to stay focus and keep my health up.

In addition, there are so many diseases out there that people have and they are so not honest with people so, why would I want to take that risk of getting something that I cannot get rid of?  Many people don’t stop to think about what they can do while they are single because for me, I would love to be single for a while longer so, I can state that I did things before I got married if that opportunity should ever arise because the way things are looking I do not wish to be married at this moment in time for, things are just getting crazier and crazier with people in the dating world.   Furthermore, people are making dating harder than what it really needs to be; my past dating experience is one that takes the cake because my ex-boyfriend was a hot mess of emotions that he couldn’t even be considered the man of the relationship, I had to take that role for the both of us.

Lastly, I need to focus on better things rather than worrying about starting a new relationship with somebody.   The only hits I get now are from people who I do not want to waste my time with but, not all of them are men some of them are women and for some reason I get the cute lesbians I wonder why?  I hope I do not give off the husband complex to them because that is kinda gross in my opinion but, they do give off nice comments every time they walk by so, I guess that I could smile more.  Anyway not worrying about having a relationship just now but, if the time comes then yes I can start a new one right now I am trying to work on myself and make better relationships with other people.

Today it is raining so, once again stuck inside

She walks in the vast world, with endless possibilities.

Even with the drops of rain falling down, splashing on

her clothes and creating puddles on the ground.

 

Her footsteps echo through the grey sky that offers

no sunshine as she continues to walk; taking no care

to avoid the water that floods all the remaining dry spots

on the jeans she wears.

 

Hair drenched-the rain begins to lighten and she finds that

she is weighed down by all the soaked up rainy day weather

that has found her.

 

A small smile plays on her red lips as she gazes up at the

sky where a beautiful rainbow formed; red, yellow orange,

blue and purple-dazzled like a new form of glitter that has

turned the sky into some magnificent show.

 

Marveling, she broke into a grin. For this was her favorite

part about rainy days, the rain that brought renewed hope

into her heart.

D for Dedication

Looked at my body! I looked at my body!  Jumped up on the scale and saw my weight and it was 130.2 lbs.  Hard work plus dedication makes a big difference.

Here is my song for this post because I am going to strut my stuff.

I am sexy and I know it! Keeping off the weight for two years and counting.

Valentines Day

A lot of people are alone on valentines day and its one day that everyone is extra nice to each other.  Every day to me when I was dating was Valentines Day and the actually day of Valentines day with Super Valentines Day.  Looking back on that now I rather go without Valentines Day because its a lot less heartache then needed.  To all that are enjoy this day well Happy Valentines Day.

 

Life is different when you lose someone special and the small things you did together make a big difference

Losing a friend that was there with you when you woke up and was with you when you went to bed is heartbreaking too ever angle.  

There are some things I had probably planned and some things that not have been plan but, the lost of Rocky is life changing but, I will soon get another Rottweiler friend.   I will love him or her until they cross that bridge like Rocky once did.

 

Got Paid!!!!

$160.00 not going to spend it for the next three months because I finished the three day that I was assigned which consisted of Data entry not, the other three day job that I will be a receptionist but, seriously who tells you three days then it comes out to be two or I must have done all the work in two days :/.   Now comes the three month assignment for 3 months making $15.00 an hour!  I can hardly wait to see what I can do with that money when I get it all because it’s getting really hard to budget $1,075.00 a month just on a menial degree but,  its for the good of society because who else is going to help my fellow human kind.   Helping the elderly and other for a 24 hour week job means more to me than a job making a large amount of money on and ripping off people.

Each day I live I want it to be a day that I give but, my finest day has yet to come.   there are times that I still feel alone when trying to make a difference in the lives of others and working in non-profit as a nursing assistant is the stepping stone to my dream goal of helping men, women, children, the elderly, and animals that cannot defend themselves.   Then I will be free!